The Fit for Purpose Saluki Owner

Take Coco’s Quiz and discover if you are a ‘Fit for Purpose’ Owner of saluki(s)

1          Accommodation

What living arrangements do you offer your salukis?

a)   A country estate with at least 10 acres

b)  A comfortable house, paddock and garden

c)   A house, garden and access to rented fields

d)   A house and garden

e)   None of the above. The salukis ate me out of house and home.

2        Food

 What quality of food do you offer your salukis?

a)   Freshly cooked venison, chicken on silver platters

b)   Raw meat diet

c)    Mixed cooked meat and complete dried food diet

d)    Scraps diet

e)    None of the above, I shove the salukis outside at 7am and tell them to forage for themselves and not come back without my dinner. (NB.This answer is only remotely acceptable if you answered ‘a’ to question 1 above)

3     Finances

How would you describe your financial circumstances?

a)    I have cash to spare (you are clearly not spending enough on your salukis).

b)    I have enough cash to continue to keep several salukis in the manner to which they have become accustomed

c)    I have enough cash to keep one saluki quite comfortable

d)    I don’t know where the next show entry fee is coming from

e)    None of the above. I gave up paid work to become a full time carer for the salukis

4     Healthcare

What provision have you made to ensure your saluki’s good health?

a)    No insurance required, I am a vet (and also answered ‘a’ to question 3)

b)    The vet has become a personal friend and is on speed dial

c)     Platinum insurance (experience has taught you that silver is never enough)

d)    Silver or gold insurance (sucker)

e)    None of the above, the insurance company sacked me.

5     Hygiene and Grooming

What measures do you take to ensure your saluki always looks beautiful?

a)   My salukis are brushed and combed on a daily basis, their nails are trimmed regularly and they visit their favourite spa once a month for professional grooming. The house staff provide bejewelled snoods to protect their beautiful fringed ears from the delectable titbits served on silken cushions. Sofa and bed covers are changed and laundered daily to ensure no saluki ever feels less than pristine. The garden staff ensure all mud is removed from the grounds before any saluki sets paw outside.

b)   My salukis are brushed and combed weekly and showered as required to keep them sweet smelling. Muddied floors are mopped hourly by the member of the serving staff who has had the mop surgically attached to her arm for the duration of the rainy season (roughly September to August).

c)   My salukis have a shower and brush up before a show. I manage to trim just one nail per saluki before they realise what I am doing and race away.

d)   I don’t always shout at my salukis when they rid their paws of mud by jumping directly from door to sofa, missing out the specially purchased mud absorbing magic mats.

e)   None of the above. I like shaggy dogs who resemble ‘What-a-mess’.

6    Security

How do you keep your salukis safe and secure?

a)   The moat and drawbridge keep undesirables out and salukis in

b)    I have an eight foot stone wall around my entire estate

c)    My paddock and garden have 6 foot fencing and all garden gates are locked

d)    Mixture of gates, shrubbery, fencing panels

e)    None of the above, the salukis knocked down the fences and tunnelled under the gates

7    Knowledge and Understanding

How much do you know about salukis, their needs and history?

a)    Everything, I wrote the book ‘The Complete Saluki’

b)    Lots, I wrote the book ‘Living with Infidels’

c)    Some, I read the 2 books mentioned above

d)    A little, I read all the Saluki magazines and whatever it says on Facebook

e)    None of the above, my saluki likes to keep me in the dark

8    Training and Education

What training do you offer your saluki?

a)    I’ve taught him to read and write and tell jokes

b)    I took him to puppy socialisation classes and on to Good Citizens and Agility Training

c)    I teach him basic good manners at home (no, you must not eat our cat) and take him occasionally to RingCraft (aka Line Dancing, thank you Jabari for that never to be forgotten image)

d)    Hahaha, he is too busy training me to have time to undertake being trained

e)    None of the above. I wouldn’t insult my salukis by attempting to train them

9    Entertainment

What do you do to keep your salukis entertained and alert?

a) I provide them with lots of companions of the same breed with whom they can enjoy choral practice and play tag. I provide smaller canines and other animal species for their added enjoyment. I replace the chewed up toys (soft, not Papillons) on a regular basis, I take them for long interesting walks on a twice daily basis and regularly introduce them to pastures new on holiday.

b)   as above but without the smaller canines or other animal species

c)   as above but without the same breed companions

d)   I let them have control of the remote

e)   None of the above, the saluki ate the remote.

   10     Home furnishings

 Do you let your salukis sleep on your bed?

a)   What do you mean ‘my bed’? Of course every bed in the house belongs first and foremost to the salukis.

b)   No but they do have first call on the sofas

c)   No, salukis in my household have their own dog beds

d)   No, salukis sleep in crates

e)   None of the above, the salukis ate all the beds

   11     Physical attributes

Do you have the necessary physical attributes required to care for one or more salukis?

a)   I have X-ray vision enabling me to see any minor physical problems my salukis are experiencing. I have slow motion vision enabling me to see that their movement in the show ring is true, not hackneyed or knitting, and to see that they do indeed hold their topline on the move. I have eyes in the back of my head so I can see trouble coming from behind and take action to avert impending disaster, and I can see squirrels, foxes and cats from afar, before the sighthounds, and take avoiding measures. I have an elastic body and can be pulled in 3 different directions by 3 different salukis without falling over. I never trip over recumbent salukis. (That may be because all sleeping salukis in my house are on the beds not the floor).

b)   I am physically fit, have a good eye for a dog and can see when something is wrong. I have learned to bounce back up when pulled over.

c)   I am making a good recovery from being pulled over when my saluki dragged me after a squirrel I hadn’t noticed.

d)   I am still in plaster.

e)   None of the above. The salukis ate my glasses and now function as ‘seeing eye’ dogs.

12        Showring and Temperament

Do you have the correct temperament for showing your Saluki?

a)   Yes, I am a successful breeder of Champions and I know all the judges, so I know that if they don’t give me the CC, at best the judge is having an ‘off’ day and, at worst, they have been nobbled by the competition. My salukis are always the best. I am resilient and always have high expectations.

b)   Yes, I do not breed but I have such a good eye I always get the ‘pick of the litter’ and train my dogs to perform well in the showring. I too know all the judges so I know that if they don’t give me the CC, at best the judge has forgotten his glasses and, at worst, he is judging by the Afghan Hound breed standard. My salukis are always the best. I am resilient and mostly hopeful.

c)   Maybe, I’ve been around a while and my face is getting to look a bit familiar even if not recognised. I’ve had some success, the odd CC or reserve CC and I’ve been under most of the judges by now so I know if my salukis don’t at least get placed it’s because I’m not enough of a ‘face’ yet, even though my salukis are actually the best. I am usually resilient and quite hopeful.

d)   Probably not. I’ve been around a while but have never even earned a stud book number never mind a reserve CC or CC. I don’t have a face, my salukis, despite obviously being the best, think the show ring is an adventure playground or an opportunity to publicly humiliate me as a reward for any minor slights I may have inadvertently inflicted upon them. I am not resilient, barely hanging in there by the skin of my teeth which usually get kicked in if I am ever foolish enough to allow hope to spring.

e)   None of the above. I have been sacked from the showring for growling at the judge and snapping at the steward. I ran away from the showring and became a gibbering wreck. I hate showing and know the best dogs stay at home with me.

  13        Love and Affection

Which statement below best describes your feelings about your salukis?

a)   Salukis are my life, my joy, my every waking thought and the centre of all my dreams.   My only wish is to be a devoted slave to the salukis who grace my home, to keep them safe and healthy and happy.

b)   Salukis are delightful creatures who have given me much pleasure. I love living with them. My wish is to provide them with a secure satisfying and healthy life.

c)   There is but one dog and that is the saluki.

d)   I like most dogs but I love salukis.

e)   None of the above. What??? You don’t even like salukis!!! Then why on earth are you wasting your time on this quiz?   

What your answers show about your ‘fit for purpose’ ownership of salukis.

Mostly ‘a’s: Excellent

Well done. You are obviously ‘fit for purpose’, well-breeched and have an excellent approach to providing for salukis. You should immediately send me your name and address, mark your mail ‘for the attention of Coco’, so that I can add you to the list of saluki homes I am considering making my 2nd residence.

Mostly ‘b’s: Very good

I like your attitude to salukis, caring and comfortable, sensible and intelligent. Not too subservient. I can come to terms with that. You too can send me your names and addresses for further consideration.

Mostly ‘c’s: Average

OK, but I fear you may not be up to meeting my needs and providing my creature comforts on a long term basis. Perhaps I’ll visit for the occasional holiday.

Mostly ‘d’s: Poor

Oh dear, I’m afraid that if I really wanted to remain a Special Beginner and stay with the Big Toy/Old Girl I wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of devising this quiz.

Mostly ‘e’s: Beyond the pale

You just aren’t trying, so not worthy.